- Use a wide range of punctuation appropriately and with increasing accuracy. (Year 9/10)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal
My Story... NY Earthquake
“Text me when you get there!” I yell as she gets on the bus “Okay!” She yells back, as soon as she's on the bus and out of my sight I walk back in the house. “What to do, what to do” I say to myself. Hi, I'm Dakota I'm 21 years old, I live in New York with my 13 year old little sister Athena. Our parents live in New Zealand, that's we’re we were born. Today Athena is going to her friends house and I'm staying home I look around the apartment and all I see is pizza boxes, water bottles and clothes, dirty that is. I start my clean up I finish the dusting, dishes, putting out the bin and laundry I'm now doing the vacuuming, I hear a rumble but I'm pretty sure it's from the vacuum then it comes again but it's way louder and bigger the painting falls off the wall the vase drops from the shelve and then I realized we're having an earthquake. A big one.
I run too my phone and instantly call Athena “Come on Athena, pick up your stupid phone!” I yell after the third ring she finally picks up “Dakota what's happening, I don't know what to do!” “It's okay, it's just like what happened in New Zealand” “But i'm at the 21st story of her apartment!” Ugh this is not helping “Okay, I'm coming to get you” I say “Okay I'll see you soon” she repiles I hang up and get ready for what's heading my way, I realise that I was so consumed in a seeing if Athena was okay that the earthquake had trashed my house while on the phone to her. I get my purse filled with all my girly essentials and run out of the door I'm halfway down the hall when I realise that I haven't locked my door so I turn around and all I see is family's run out of there doors and downstairs to evacuate I push and slither through the alarmed citizens “All for a stupid door” I mutter, then a light bulb pops in my head either lock my house or my get to my sister who may be in danger, yeah not a hard choice. I run past everyone and reach the stairs I zip down them like I run everyday. I make my way onto the busy streets and look around at all the cars filled with suitcases and all their valuables, “I need a car” I whisper to myself I see a man pilling stolen tvs into the back of his truck I walk up to the car and see the keys are still in the truck, the man popped into the store to get more tvs I jump in his car and start the car, the man runs out of the store yelling for me to stop but I don't and I keep driving. I've been driving for 10 minutes and I'm trying to get to Athena, I see a glimpse of the apartment she is staying in until the road in front of me cracks open and goes for miles and miles I dive out of the car to see what's happening and the half of the land I'm standing on lifts, I fall to the ground and all I see is my chance to save Athena slipping through my fingers.
The ground suddenly stops lifting and I look around there's no way I can jump it, “How am I going to get over?” I mumble to myself over and over again. I look to my left. Nothing. I look to my right and I see something. About a mile away a big shed “Hopefully I can get help there” I say with a glimpse of hope in my voice. I jump in the car and race towards the shed, once i'm there i jump out and run to the massive doors that are separating me and whatever's inside the shed. I look at the handles and there's no lock, nothing at all, so I pull with all my strength and open the door, it’s dark inside so i switch on the lights, right in the middle of the shed is a helicopter covered in a worn out sheet I stroll to the big machinery and yank off the sheet “I knew those helicopter lessons would be of help!” I cheer. I see fuel in the corner of my eye I grab it “That should be enough” I mutter to myself while pouring it in, I then sit inside and strap myself in I start the helicopter and levitate off the ground by pushing a few buttons soon enough i’m off and flying out of the shed.. I fly over to the city where Athena is, I peer down below me and see tall buildings, road lamps and power lines shaking and collapsing I just witnessed an earthquake below me I soon realize that i need somewhere to land I look below me and see a open arena I decide to land there. I pull some levers and push some buttons and I feel the helicopter lowering smoothly to the grass, as soon as the helicopter is on the soil I unstrap myself and leap out of the helicopter. I run onto the streets where I see injured people, people trying to help the injured, people running to safety, people covered in dust and blood and I see a broken city. I run to the building Athena is in and wiz up the stairs until I am at the 21st floor, I burst through the door and push open all the apartment doors “ATHENA!” I yell “ATHENA, WHERE ARE YOU!” I say mainly to myself “Dakota!” I faintly hear down the hall “DAKOTA, HELP!” I hear Athena sob I frantically run to the door that's hiding a worried Athena and push it open, “Athena!” I yell happily as I see my little sister in the corner of the kitchen “Where’s everyone else?” I question “They left” she answers “Okay let's go” I whisper. We make our way down the stairs and out into the streets, I see a big army truck driving through the streets picking up survived citizens “Look Athena!” I yell pointing to the truck “HELP!” we yell the truck soon sees us and drives toward us. Two soldiers jump out and help us in the truck, then we start driving “Where are we going?” I question “Somewhere safe” the driver replies. After a while the truck stops and we jump out. I look around and I see heaps of citizens, eating tents, sleeping tents and a place for the injured. “You’ll be safe here” the soldier promises “Thank you” Athena and I praise. We find a tent to sleep in “I'm so happy you're okay” I whisper while hugging Athena “Thank you for rescuing me” she replies “As long as we're together we'll be okay”